Very little stories about Betrayal And the relationship is out of marriage. This is a bit strange, because infidelity is a common phenomenon. According to a statistical report in the US, one out of every five married men betraying his wife.
Powerfuls who were charming with betrayal
History is full of dramatic examples of leaders who have left their families for younger and more exciting versions of their spouses. Henry Eighth, Napoleon Bonaparte, and King Edward Seven; A fascinating list of powerful treacherous men. These powerful men abandoned responsibility for their nation and country and sought their sexual desire.
US Presidents are also cheated; Not just Clinton’s famous. George Washington referred to Sally Farfox “those happy moments, the happiest moments of my life I spent with you.” Warren Harding was a bad president and a worse husband. She failed to control himself (or “Jerry”, the name he had given her penis) against a young and delicate woman, and established a relationship with her that included regular meetings at the White House and sex in the presidential room.
Of course, women are also tempted. Frida Calu, Georgia Okiev and Cleopatra are all examples of women who diverted from their original emotional relationship.
Greek Prime Minister Andreas Papandreo was a supporter of women’s rights and criminalized adultery. But he used this power for his personal interests to escape his six -year marriage. After years of rumor in Greece, he divorced from Margaret Chant-Papandero to be with Dmitra Liani, who was 5 years younger than himself. In his will, he gave all his assets to Liani, and nothing to his four children from the ex -wife.
The betrayal does not boil us
Some out -of -marriage relationships lead to lifelong happiness; But not often. Less than 5 % of the treacherous spouses marry their betrayal partner, and 2 percent of these marriages fail. Is natural; too; You only change a set of problems and failure with a new set. No one can meet all your needs or make you happy, entertained, and sexually satisfied.
Famous examples include Arnold Schwarzenegger, who “feels bad” for betraying Maria Shrivor and regrets its consequences, especially its impact on her family. The story of Boris Becker in a cleanliness warehouse cost him $ 5 million. G-Zi wishes I wish he had not betrayed Beyonce. British footballer Kyle Walker also regrets his out -of -marriage and betrayal of his “lost half and best friend”, Annie Kilner.
The imagination of better options does not just make the presidents and celebrities crazy. Stephen Serlele killed Anne in the year after having a relationship with her son’s partner. In a series of stories of men who have betrayed, we see the narrative behind the narrative of men who are deeply sorry. One of them says:
“I wish I could get everything back … since then my life has been so bad. I still get in pain … This pain will never disappear, like the torment I have. “
Another man with his best friend’s wife says:
“This was the biggest mistake of my life. I missed my wife and lost my best friend. “
Why are we tempted?
You might ask Reasons for Men’s Betrayal What or why we are tempted. In short, we are tempted because we are human. Three pervasive bias lead us to infidelity:
- Hedonic Adaptation: This is a more detailed term to say that when we meet a new person, we think we will be happier. But this temporary increase in a sense of joy over time goes back to normal level.
- Boredom: We prefer to give ourselves an electric shock rather than sitting alone with our own thoughts. With these interpretations, the betrayal is exciting.
- Negative bias (Negation Bias): It is more likely to remember our unpleasant moments of our childhood, even if we are happy overall. Similarly, we focus more on the negative aspects of our lives than positive. We reinforce the notion that “it must have a job” and we have to change it.
With such bias, it is difficult to maintain long -term relationships. These relationships full of boredom and hopelessness are inevitable. When you raise a baby and wash the pus, it is difficult to maintain creativity and emotional sparks. It is difficult to still be excited about her after seeing your spouse every day. So we inevitably look for fun, excitement or something out of the relationship, and we tell ourselves that “we will be happy if we find such a need that the current spouse does not give somewhere else.”
But infidelity often leads to divorce, even if the parties do not confess or talk about it. The highest divorce rate, 2 %, relates to marriages where there is a secret relationship. Divorce is usually terrible for all people involved. What is the advice of one of the best British divorce lawyers to couples who have problems? “Don’t divorce.” And this is not just because of financial costs. Divorce complicates so much social, family and financial life that it should only be the last option. About one -third of people who get divorced later regret divorce.
How to avoid temptation?
Now if you see a new person tempts you, what should you do?
- Consider your bias. Relationships change. Obviously, your relationship cannot be like the first day and should not be. Neutralize what this relationship now has for you: security, common history, deep love and close communication, and the like. These are real and important and cannot be easily repeated with someone else.
- If you have problems, talk to your spouse, the changes you want, and get help from couple therapy before your mind is over -distracted.
- Think about the message that this temptation gives you. You may need more excitement and creativity in life; You may feel that your life is uniform. Instead of betrayal, find other ways to achieve these emotions. Some of these solutions may even be practical even with the help of your current partner.
- Remind yourself that infidelity is often overwhelmed by the expensive and expensive marriage – and the future marriages.
Out -of -marriage relationship: Sarabi empty of joy
Remove a handful of items and look at the real scene in front of your eyes. Out -of -marriage relationship is more than anything that is empty of any kind of joy and is surrounded by stress and uncertainty. What do you think? Why is the out -of -marriage relationship? Can it be a happy ending for it?
Source: psychology today
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