The name of lying shepherd and Pinocchio is bad! why Because studies show that unfortunately most people lie many times during the day. At best, people lie at least 2-3 times a day. For example, your friends and colleagues usually tell big and small lies in their communication throughout the day and even in short 10-minute conversations.
You, dear reader, are finally someone’s friend and colleague. If we pay attention to our behavior, we will realize that sometimes we unnecessarily avoid telling the truth and put ourselves and others into a challenge of erosion. After 253 studies, researchers at the University of California have found that we are only able to detect 53% of the lies that are told to us. It means that it is almost equivalent to the probability of predicting a lion or a line of coins! In this lie market, how to deal with liars is very important.
Another scary point in the game of lies and truth is that even police officers, professional interrogators and judges only distinguish lies from the truth 60% of the time, and there is no certainty. There are many ways to deal with liars, depending on the situation. Stay with us.
Sometimes the lie we hear is so big and horned that any person can recognize it. In these cases, the type of behavior with the lying person and managing the conversation is very simple. But sometimes the lie we hear is not so clear, and only with a reasonable percentage of doubt and pessimism can we not fall into the liar’s trap.
Of course, pessimism is not a desirable feature at all, but combining a percentage of it with realism makes us better manage dealing with liars in our lives. What should we do after we feel that what we heard was nothing but a lie? Where can we learn how to deal with liars? Should we directly tell the person to lie less? Should we tell him why you are not telling the truth or simply ignore him and ignore the lie he told? Nietzsche says: “I am not sad that you have lied, it makes me despair that I will no longer trust you.”
1. Know the rules of the game
Sometimes revealing the truth and exposing people’s hands has much worse consequences than hearing that lie and not admitting it. You don’t need to react immediately when you feel that someone is lying. Consider the situation you are in. What is the reason for lying? What is the result of pursuing the truth? Sometimes it is better to remain silent in front of the lying person and not show any reaction.
2. make a joke
Some liars weave such big lies that they are not only unbelievable but also laughable and ridiculous. These lies can be identified from 8 miles away. In these cases, take help of jokes. For example, say: “Isn’t your nose twenty centimeters longer?” Or other jokes that put the lying person in a new situation that allows him to joke and can tell the truth in a behavioral turn and put everything as a joke. This kind of behavior with liars will prevent you from hearing other lies and protect the person’s reputation.
3. Make your way to it
Another way to deal with liars is to let them in. By using this method, one is forced to confess and at the same time self-esteem And his reputation is also preserved. Pretend your memory doesn’t help and ask as many questions as you can. When you get into the details, the truth will soon be revealed.
4. Talk to the liar
If you think a little more carefully, you will definitely remember that your significant other also lies many times during the day. This feature is very undesirable and ugly, and many tragedies and problems have been caused by lying throughout history, but anyway, we all tell small and big lies more or less. Try to talk to the liar privately about the lie you heard and talk to him in a way that preserves his reputation. Remember, you must have enough reasons to prove your claim, because if you don’t provide enough evidence, he might blame everything on you and avoid telling the truth.
5. Take care of yourself
We all have the right to know the truth. No matter if the lie you heard is very big and visible or if it is told professionally and under the skin. Defend your right, but be aware that if you have decided to turn away the hand of a liar, consider the consequences of doing so. Fully measure the capacity of the person and the history of your relationships in order to protect your nerves and feelings. What does that mean? That is, taking into account the situation you are in, manage your behavior with liars in such a way that the dignity of both of you is preserved and the problem is solved. Don’t let the lies you heard lead to arguments and get on your nerves. Put yourself in the person’s place and try to find the root and cause of his lying, knowing that lying is an inappropriate move.
Some people lie out of fear or lack of self-confidence. But some others are professional and vengeful liars who have spent many years of their lives with lies and what benefits and achievements they have not achieved. Dealing with liars has many complications. Being able to correctly identify which method to choose to deal with a liar depends largely on your circumstances. According to Nietzsche, the most unfortunate result of a lie is the loss and severing of the bonds of trust between people.
How to talk with liars?
We all have to deal with liars in our lives. What should we do in such a situation? We have 10 practical, step-by-step suggestions.
Frequently asked questions about lies and dealing with liars
1. How to deal with a lying wife?
1. Keep calm: An emotional and nervous reaction makes the situation worse. Instead of judging or attacking, speak calmly.
2. Identify the root of the problem: Your spouse may lie for reasons such as fear of judgment, embarrassment, or self-protection.
3. Build trust: Provide a safe environment for the conversation where your partner feels comfortable and does not need to lie.
4. Set boundaries: Make it clear that the lying is hurting the relationship and that you must work together to resolve it.
5. Get expert help: In repeated and damaging cases, couples counseling can be effective.
2. What is the psychological reason for lying?
1. Fear of consequences: People may lie to escape punishment, blame, or conflict.
2. Attention or acceptance: Some people resort to lying to appear more attractive or to gain approval from others.
3. Self protection: Lying is sometimes a defense mechanism to protect privacy or escape emotional harm.
4. Habit or behavioral pattern: Lying becomes a habit in some people due to constant repetition.
5. Personality problems: Some personality disorders such as narcissism or antisocial can cause frequent lying.
3. What are the characteristics of liars?
1. Avoiding eye contact: Liars often avoid making eye contact.
2. Restless postures: Constantly changing body position, playing with hands or touching the face can be a sign of anxiety caused by lying.
3. Additional or contradictory explanations: Liars usually provide unnecessary details or contradict each other.
4. Changes in voice tone and unusual pauses: The person’s voice may shake or take long pauses when speaking.
5. Avoiding the main topic: Liars try to change the discussion to divert attention from the main issue.
4. How to recognize a wife’s lying?
1. Change in behavior and tone of speech: Sudden behavior, unusual pauses, or a shaky tone of voice can indicate a lie.
2. Contradiction in conversations: If your spouse’s answers are different and contradictory at different times, there is a possibility of lying.
3. Avoid specific details: Liars usually avoid giving detailed information and speak in general terms.
4. Physical symptoms: Unconscious movements such as touching the face, playing with fingers or looking around can be a sign of anxiety caused by lying.
5. How can we help a liar?
1. Understanding the reason for lying: Try to identify the root of the problem, such as fear of judgment or self-confidence issues.
2. Creating a safe and non-judgmental space: Reassure him that he can speak the truth without fear.
3. Encouraging honesty: Recognize and encourage honesty when it shows.
4. Talking about the consequences of lying: Explain how lying can damage trust and relationships.
5. Expert help offer: In chronic cases, offering individual counseling or couples therapy can help resolve the problem.
6. How to deal with frequent lying in relationships?
1. Open and honest conversation: Talk about the negative impact the lie has had on the relationship without judgment or accusation.
2. Building trust: Eliminate lying by creating an environment of safety and mutual respect.
3. Specifying consequences: Clearly explain what the consequences of repeating the lie will be for the relationship.
4. Focus on positive behavior: Encourage that honesty is the best solution to problems.
5. Counseling and treatment: See a psychologist or counselor to find professional solutions.
7. What is the difference between expedient lie and hurtful lie?
1. expedient lie: It is usually said with the intention of avoiding minor inconveniences or making others feel good, and is not meant to destroy or deceive.
2. Traumatic lie: Its purpose is to deceive, abuse, or conceal a truth that may harm others.
3. Consequences: An expedient lie usually has no long-term effects, but a hurtful lie damages relationships and trust.
4. Frequency and repetition: An expedient lie occurs in certain situations; A hurtful lie is repetitive and patterned.
5. Moral values: An expedient lie happens mostly in special and exceptional circumstances, but a harmful lie is contrary to moral and humane principles.
8. Can you trust someone who lied again?
1. It depends on the situation: You need to investigate what was the reason for lying and whether there is genuine remorse or not.
2. Time required: Rebuilding trust does not happen quickly and requires effort from both parties.
3. Measure the person’s behavior: Honesty and a person’s effort to make up for past lies are the most important criteria for regaining trust.
4. Have a clear conversation: Ask him to talk about the reasons for lying and find a common solution to prevent it from happening again.
5. Determining boundaries: Make it clear that honesty is the main condition for the continuation of the relationship.
9. What effect does lying have on a person’s mental health?
1. Creating stress and anxiety: Worrying about revealing the truth can create constant stress.
2. Conscience and guilt: Constant lying can make a person feel guilty and worthless.
3. Decreased self-confidence: A person may gradually get used to the inability to be honest and feel weak.
4. Depression: Living in contradiction and deception can make a person feel hopeless and lonely.
5. Isolation: Fear of being judged or being exposed to a lie may keep a person away from social relationships.
10. What are the solutions to break the habit of lying?
1. Accepting the problem: One must first accept that lying is a wrong and harmful habit.
2. Identifying the cause of lying: Finding the root of lies, such as fear, lack of self-confidence, or the need for approval from others.
3. Practicing Honesty: Start telling the truth in small situations and practice honesty daily.
4. Accepting responsibility for behavior: Instead of hiding mistakes with lies, learn to take responsibility for their behavior.
5. Treatment and specialized advice: Getting help from a psychologist to solve the psychological and behavioral roots of this habit.
Taken from:linkedin.com
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