Reluctance or lack of desire is one of the most important problems that are very prominent these days. Many people think that reluctance, especially when it comes to sex, is a big problem, and that’s why they turn to professionals to treat it. A specialist who is an expert in his work will ask the client many questions about this and most likely will eventually come to the conclusion that the problem is not reluctance or lack of desire.
Saying no to something you think you won’t enjoy is not considered a problem. Any common sense will undoubtedly give the same answer. Let us give you an example. Suppose you don’t like broccoli; When people hear this, they will probably be very surprised. Conversely, when you say, “I don’t eat broccoli because I don’t like it,” no one is likely to object.
Likewise, when people talk about reluctance, you should first ask them what exactly they are reluctance about. A professional specialist should first of all be aware of the expectations of his clients.
Before reading you should know:
When someone doesn’t want a certain type of sex, it doesn’t mean they have a “low sex drive.”
Among humans, there is a wide range of sexual desire.
Although we each have our own preferences, no one “needs” to have a certain amount of sex each month.
Boring, painful or annoying?
In this article, our attention is focused more on sex than anything else; We intend to further examine the problem of reluctance in sexual relations together. When people believe that sex may be boring, painful, sudden, emotionless, or even scary and annoying, they will undoubtedly resist it, reject it, and respond negatively to their spouse or romantic partner. they give
Of course, they may give a negative answer indirectly; For example, they say they have a headache or make excuses for work. Some may drag things into arguments to avoid establishing a relationship. Others may make their opponent start a fight and then leave the scene without any remorse.
Sexual desire should not be confused with need
Many people are shocked to hear that their partner needs a certain amount of sex during the week. Although it is normal for each person to want a certain amount of this work. Here it should be known that the desire to do this work is only “desire” and it cannot be considered “need” or “necessity”.
Some people think that the “desire” for sex is equal to a “need” and therefore they consider themselves right; Obviously, having such a mindset is wrong. Undoubtedly, imposing one’s desires in the name of need can result in the dissatisfaction of the emotional partner or spouse in the worst way.
In order to create desire, the context must be created
In many cases, when a person says “no” to their romantic partner’s request, it means that they are reluctant to do that. Sometimes, however, this claim is not true, and saying no does not necessarily mean being unwilling or unwilling.
You should note that in order to experience a successful sexual relationship with your spouse or romantic partner, it is very important to create a suitable background. Before people can develop desire, they may need to:
- to be loved and loved first;
- Some people like to be seduced first or imagine that they have a desire;
- Some even like to feel dominated by the other person;
- Some people need to have an emotional relationship with a person before having sex;
- Meanwhile, some people need the other person to make them feel attractive;
- Finally, some may need the other person to admire their character.
Without creating these platforms, most people will likely be reluctant or largely unwilling to experience sex.
When sexual reluctance seems to be a problem
Unfortunately, many of the seemingly reluctant spouses or partners are those who are unable to create the right context for the relationship. These people either cannot present the necessary background to arouse the desire of the opposite person, or they do not care about it at all. Many of them have not learned how to respect and value their partner’s feelings and desires.
It is at this time that the affected people think that their relationship is problematic and they should go to a specialist to treat their other party’s reluctance. In these cases, either they forcefully take their emotional partner to the specialist, or they convince him to accept that his reluctance is a big problem.
What is the duty of a professional expert?
As we mentioned in the introduction, a professional expert has a very sensitive task in such cases. In such cases, an important question must first be asked of the person who is considered reluctant: “Reluctance towards what?”
The specialist must check that:
- Is the person reluctant to have unprotected sex?
- Is the person reluctant to the prevailing atmosphere during the relationship?
- Is the person reluctant to the absence of feelings and emotions during the relationship?
- Is the person reluctant to experience an orgasm during intercourse?
- Is the person reluctant to the lack of passion and taste in his emotional partner?
Finding answers to questions like these can be very helpful. It is necessary to know that having sex with your partner does not only mean satisfying instinctive needs, but many factors are involved in having a successful experience. For many people, the relationship experience is much more than just sexual satisfaction. When their emotional needs are not met during the relationship, it is obvious that they will be reluctant to do so.
How to fix sexual reluctance?
When the cause of this reluctance is not properly identified, people may go for the wrong solutions to solve their problem. The wrong solutions sometimes not only do not help to remove reluctance, but may also make the situation more complicated than it already is.
The best solution in this situation is that, first of all, the parties have a constructive conversation about this dilemma and ask the question: “How do you want to feel during the relationship?”
The key to solving this problem is to have an honest conversation with your spouse or partner. A person should be as transparent as possible during this conversation so that the other party can understand him in the best way. This conversation should be done before the beginning of the relationship so that during the relationship, the harmony of the parties will reach its maximum level.
Internal tendencies have a wide range
Reluctance or lack of desire to have sex with a spouse or romantic partner often depends on the inner desires of each person. When a person says “no” to a relationship, it does not necessarily mean that they are not interested in the other person. Sometimes the reason for this reluctance should be sought in the context that should have been provided for the relationship but was not.
It should be known that the inner desires of people have a wide range. Unfortunately or fortunately, nature often turns people who are the exact opposite of each other into couples. Couples that one of them sexual desire very high and the other has very little desire. Such couples may have conflicts about this issue for a very long time, which can sometimes affect other aspects of their lives.
In this article, we talked about how to say no to sex. If you and your wife have a similar problem, reading this article will undoubtedly be useful for you.
Source: psychologytoday
Source Link
