In social networks, you have met a girl or a boy who has a very favorable appearance and condition. You go on a date and you see it’s the same person you saw in their profile but not exactly like that… Now what should you do?
If you are also a fan of virtual dating or dating apps, you must have met people who are not quite like what we expect. These people haven’t lied so completely that you can find fault with them, nor have they been so honest about their appearance or circumstances that you feel they are exactly who you imagined them to be.
For example, you might come across someone with a missing tooth but the angle of their profile picture doesn’t show it. Or maybe the picture you saw of him was from 5 years ago when he had an athletic body but now he is 20 kilos overweight!
In this situation, the person is usually disappointed or may think that he has been cheated and wasted his time. In this article we want to talk about this issue.
The problem of dating in social networks
expedient lies in Social networksespecially in dating and matchmaking applications, it has become very popular. Many men and women try to make themselves more attractive than they really are in order to attract romantic partners. This concept is different from impersonation or using fake information and images. Expedient lies have become so prevalent in the dating space that dating app Hinge has coined a term for it: Kittenfishing.
What is the exact definition of kitten fishing?
What is the exact definition of kitten fishing? Interweaving sky and string or making yourself look good in dating apps to attract a partner. This may not be new to most of us, but its prevalence in dating apps will definitely surprise you. Consider the following two situations and see which one is more familiar to you?
- Do you encounter models one after the other on dating dates? Are you nervous about how humble people are on dating apps? Before a date, do you think to yourself that you’re going to meet someone soon, because that’s what always happens?
- Or most times while dating new people, do you think you expected more from him?
If you are more in the second position, you must have guessed that there is something wrong with dating apps. If you avoid answering the above question, maybe you are one of the people who are looking for kittens, so to speak! To find out, answer the following questions honestly:
- Do you use images in dating and partnering applications and environments that are completely different from your real appearance?
- Do you tell little lies about your job, interests, accomplishments, personality or physical characteristics?
- Do you claim to be very reasonable in the relationship, while acting like a child over every little issue?
If your answer is yes to even one of the above questions, then you are also a skilled hunter! Of course, the kitten hunter.
What is the problem of expedient lies in getting to know the opposite sex?
Don’t be fooled by the gentle wording of this term! When you’re setting up your profile picture, you might say, “Well, what’s wrong with tweaking this and that?” If we want to answer this question honestly, we have to say that tricks like this do not lead anywhere. Assuming that you can attract someone’s attention by manipulating your profile picture, what will you do to meet them in reality?
The flair you give to your image will soon make you want to manipulate all its angles. At the end of the work, you suddenly see that your image is completely different from what you look like in reality.
The problem is that applying such changes will seriously affect the main purpose of dating. what purpose Find the right partner for you and shape up Emotional relationships. If visitors to your profile think you’re a good fit based on the information provided, but then see that you don’t fit that profile, then you’ll end up meeting only people who aren’t a good fit, at least in appearance.
You may now fall into the lap of this theory: “I pretend so much, to finally get what I want!” In fact, you imagine that when other people see the real you and spend time with you, they will finally fall in love with you, or when they fall for you, you can tell them the truth! We call this concept “false advertising”. Some may fall for these false ads, but how many people do you know who will say, “Good thing I was fooled!” after falling for false advertising and marketing. Likewise, kitten fishing is not the best way to start a relationship based on trust.
Why do we lie on dating apps?
If you feel that you need to lie to start a relationship, ask yourself why you need it? Are you struggling with any of the following conditions?
- Do you feel that your true self is not attractive? If you have such an idea, the right solution is to strengthen your self-image and mentality or work towards personal improvement.
- Are you attracted to someone who doesn’t love you back? Why are you attracted to this person? Do you really want to spend time with someone who doesn’t love you?
- Do you want to impress others? The purpose of dating is to find the best emotional partner. This communication should be two-way. We are not going to get into a relationship to impress others and convince them that we are special people!
- Do you want to keep up with the competition? Relationship is not a space for competition. If you intend to compete with others, draw a line around the relationship.
How to avoid expedient lies in dating apps?
If you have been a victim of people who have exaggerated their image on dating apps, don’t worry too much. These days, many people are involved in kitten fishing. Maybe it’s time to take a new look at virtual dating. For example:
- Check the profiles of people in dating applications and environments with the eyes of commercials: Do you trust a product or service just by seeing it advertised? Or do you check it closely first to make sure it has the features it offers? You should also have such a view on online dating.
- Be suspicious of anything that looks too fancy: Nothing is perfect. Be sure to pay attention to this point and look at everything that looks very good with a pessimistic eye.
- Don’t put too much value on appearance and superficial issues: It is very easy to show off or show off in superficial matters such as appearance.
- Don’t believe anything until it’s proven. Don’t believe something until you see it with your own eyes.
- Beware of attention seekers: People who need constant attention will make every effort to only consider them.
Keep in mind that even with these precautions, you won’t be completely immune to kitten phishing. But the possibility of wasting your time will decrease.
Have you heard expedient lies in virtual dating?
Dating and partnering through the Internet has become a normal routine these days. But have you ever lied about your age, height, or some personal matter to make yourself more attractive to your particular audience? If you haven’t, have you ever met people who didn’t quite match their profile information? What was your reaction and what decision did you make for that relationship? Please share your thoughts with us and other How To readers.
Source: psychologytoday
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